FINDING MYSELFBY:MIKE GRUTER

 

What is the one thing for you that takes you to a place that you feel so comfortable but so lost at the same time?  I do not have the answers for anyone else except myself.  Everyone has at least one experience in their life that they will never forget the way that they felt when it happened. For some people this may have been a letter saying they were accepted to the college of their dreams.  For others it could have been their first sexual experience or even their last.  Maybe it was winning a tournament of some kind that put them in the spotlight for a few brief seconds.

For myself my moment, my special feeling was the first time I went surfing.  Body boarding for years, my neighbor Tim would repeatedly tell me how surfing was so much better and I always ignored him because of how difficult I had heard it was.  That is what kept me from trying it for so long.  But sometimes the most challenging leaps in life are the most rewarding. Sure enough this was one of those challenges; I went into the water with a very familiar feel for the ocean but new goal.  To make a long story short that day I stayed in the ocean for hours and promised myself that I would stand up for at least one wave. So many times I would come so close that the frustration of not being able to accomplish my goal was becoming overwhelming, I wanted to quit.  Riding the waves in on my stomach is so much easier; I should just stick with that.  But the feeling that I would never know what I was missing was even tougher to cope with. Finally with the help of a mutual friend in the water it finally happened.  I started paddling into a wave and all I heard was, “paddle, paddle, and paddle.”  The wave took me and I popped up like I had done it a thousand times before.  I had never felt anything like this in the world.  The wind and the mist was in my face like a hurricane, I was up on a pedestal, overwhelmed with jubilation. This was the moment that I realized a few things, one being I would never ride a body board again.  Secondly, all that I fear in this world could be conquered.  My day was completely worth it and I was buying a surf board. 

I have been surfing for about 12 years and every time I get up on a wave I relive that same feeling of being weightless.  The best part for me is that there are no engines or artificial power.  Just me, a surfboard and a beautiful act of nature.  I am not much of an artist and many other surfers may not be either.  But believe me when I tell you every time any one of us rides a wave it is a work of art and the wave is the canvas and the board is your brush.

Surfing alleviates all your pains, inhibitions and conflicts.  It gives me something to wake up for in the morning, and I still feel like I am 12 years old.  I could be dirt poor in reality but when I am in the water… unreal. Even on a knee high day, I just catch a few waves and for those few hours I am in the water, I feel like the richest man in the world.  I always leave with a smile on my face even if I didn’t surf that well because all it takes is one good ride. I have been to a few shrinks in my day but there is no better therapy than surfing. 

If I don’t get a good ride, just floating around in nice waves or the ocean in general is an uplifting and sometimes a spiritual experience.  This is my special place that makes me feel comfortable and lost.  Nothing in this world can make me feel this same feeling.  There is a feeling out their like this for everyone.  Don’t give up, this may not take one day to find this feeling. When you do find it, don’t let it go or quite because I wouldn’t trade something that feels this good in for the world.